albinomonk (albinomonk) wrote in adroitcharacter,

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Sorry for any misspelled's 3 A.M. and I am oh so tired

So today I was in the mall, at Suncoast, looking at a movie. When one of the employees came up...he was a young man, and he asked me if I needed help. I politely told him no...the truth is..I was sort of looking for something..and I was having trouble finding it..but I just didn't want to deal with other humans at the moment, they have a way of getting on my nerves. So he told me to let him know if I needed anything, and suddenly, without warning, an urge over took me. I took a step toward him and before I could stop myself, I was slapping him across the face. He was wearing glasses, so they flew off and hit a copy of My Fair Lady on DVD, and knocked it off the shelf. But the thing was, I didn't stop there. I was full of a desire to slap this guy all over the store. So I hit him a few more times, but his co-worker started over to where we were standing after witnessing the assult. This guy was huge and I knew I was screwed if I stayed there. So I ran out of the store, with the large employee giving chase.

Almost immediately after leaving the store, I ran past some made up prissy high school chick, you know the prom queen type. As soon as I ran past her, I had to stop and go back, and I slapped her across the face. She let out a yelp and brought her hand up to her cheek, dropping her Hello Kitty purse in the act. I began to run again, and as I ran past Hot Topic, a kid with purple hair, wearing a fishnet shirt and tall black boots came out. I stopped and slapped him, then took his Hot Topic bag and dumped out the contents. Out of the bag came the typical "goth" clothing. I took the clothes and ripped them to shreds, and threw them back at the kid. Right before I ran off, I kicked him in the shin. I knew that I had to run to the bathrooms and lay low for a little while, because security would be looking for me after the reports. So I made my way to the middle of the mall, but on my way I saw a woman who was speed walking around the mall. On her sweater was attached a American Flag pin, and one with a picture of two little kids on it. The urge to slap her was unbearable. So I did a spinning back slap and made contact. Right after that, I did a tuck and roll into the hallway leading to the restroom.

I entered one of the stalls and locked it. I was tired from the running, so I sat down on the commode and drifted off to sleep. I am not real sure how long I was out, but when I awoke, sitting on the floor in the stall, was a bomb. The bomb had a few straps attached to it, so that you could strap it to your body. I knew this was for me. I was the judge, it was a chore given to me, by someone unknown. The clock had struck it's appointed was time to pass judgement. I strapped the bomb to my person, and stepped out of the stall. I walked out of the bathroom and made my way down the hall. I was now standing in the middle of the mall, people around me in every direction. I filled my lungs with air, ripped off the light jacket I was wear, exposing the bomb, and yelled at the top of my lungs......YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF FAKES!!!!!!!!

You can about imagine the reaction. People stood, with mouths wide open in disbelief. There is sort of a humorousness to the look that appears of people face, as their visage changes from disbelief, to the "Oh my god I am going to die" look. All around me I saw this expression on dozens of faces, and it made me burst out in laughter. The laughing only lasted a minute, then I was back in my dismal mood. I saw a kid standing not far from me who had a pin on his shirt that said EMO, and another one that said xStraightEdgex. I walked over to him and punched him in the nose and began yelling in his ear. He brought his hands up to his face instinctively and as blood poured between his fingers I yelled that he was an idiot for labeling himself and the real reason he did so was to be part of the crowd, I yelled that he didn't refuse to drink and smoke because he was concerned about his health, but because he wanted to look cool, he wanted to fit in with a group, and if he really was concerned about his health and his morals and nothing more then he wouldn't need to wear a pin or draw X's on his hand. I screamed at him that emo was a stupid concept, did he consider himself emo because he cried? because he had emotions? WELL GUESS WHAT!! I yelled. IT'S CALLED BEING A HUMAN BEING, ALL HUMANS CRY AND ALL HUMANS HAVE EMOTIONS...SO GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE, YOU ARE NOT THAT SPECIAL. YOUR PRIDE IN THESE EMPTY LABELS IS BORDERLINE JOCKISH YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!

It was time to do away with these fakes. I yelled that they had commited a horrible crime and needed to be punished. They had neglected to respect their individualizm, and they in fact killed it by forming these stupid meaningless labels and groups. My finger was on the button, and ready to wipe this scum off the face of the earth, when suddenly a small child walked up to me out of the crowd and offered me a bottle of Coke. I was astounded, I mean, I knew this was going to be my last few minutes alive, so why not enjoy a Coke before I died. I took the bottle and sucked it down. What happened to me next is hard to explain, but I was suddenly over taken by this intense tranquility and I love. In love with everyone around me. I didn't care anymore that they were empty mindless drones, that were under the control of labels. I walked back over to the kid with the pins and apologized to him, and told him that if he wanted to remain empty and disillusioned that that was fine with me, and everyone else should be fine with it too. I took the bomb vest off of me and let is fall to the ground and then shouted at the top of my lungs....I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!! I was immediately tackled to the ground.

So now I am in jail, writing this story. I am going to be executed tomorrow morning sometime. It is a new policy of the government, that if someone makes a point to try and get people to think for themselves, then they are considered very dangerous, terrorist status infact. But I understand their reasoning, and I am not depressed about it at all. Rather I am happy, because my eyes were opened the other day, when I had that Coke. As long as people drink it, the world will be a better place, because it puts you in a state of acceptence and love. I know...deep down inside...that Coke will save the world.

P.S. I love Big Brother

The End
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