So i'm laying there in my bed minding my own buisness one night, sipping off my Nyquil, and i notice a bright light which i figure is just another guy looking for shots of woman undressing to sell to porn shops. i saw it on 20/20 once a few years ago and i've been paranoid ever since.
Anyway, i just pretend to ignore it continue undressing and sort of dancing around but not dancing, you know what i mean? All untill i notice a figure in my room staring at me like i'm an idiot. It said to me without moving anything on its face," You're pretty hot, you're comming with us." i didn't put up any resistance i've been watching sightings for far to long to give up a chance to be on it, its my favorite show. So they take me up in a ladder. i asked them why they didn't use a beam like in the movies they said that no one has that kind of technology.
It was silent outside the ship but as soon as i stepped inside all i heard was the ambient sounds, that of a rave. i was led to a room in which i was told to use a tazer on these aliens that were tied up. So i went about it without question, these are aliens and America's laws don't apply here. After a while of that, i was led to the ladder with some other aliens i could tell these ones were probably teenagers. They looked pretty excited. Their, what seemed to be, parents were telling them to be careful. The ladder dropped and we all went down. We were in the middle of a field, they handed me something which looked like it was used to cut stuff. Some of the teenagers ran over to something i couldn't see well yet, it was dark. They were cutting up a cow they took all the organs and put them in a bag. We quikly ran, all of us giggling, and climbed back up into the ship. We all went into this room and one of the teenagers was yelling that he wanted to be the one tonight, laughing and smiling the whole time. So he layed down on this table and still smiling used the cutting device on his chest and made an incision on his chest and they all went around him and took the organs out of him one by one replacing them with the cow organs as they went. When finished he stood up laughing and telling everyone to look at him, with the organs attached but still hanging out of his body which was out of proportion compaired to the organs of a cow.
Knowing every good time has to come to an end, helped when they told me that they had to drop me off at home. So they all came to the ladder with me, everyone sort of down about having to say good bye. They said they'd come around next time they were in the galaxy so i told them i look forward to it. On my way down the ladder i looked back up all teary eyed and said good bye, and a little girl came up and kissed me on the forehead and handed me a little doll, i think its the equivalent of a tedy bear but its pretty ugly, i still smiled and said thanks.
When i got down the ladder into my window i went right to bed and didn't have any anal probes or any scars.... well only because they can close incision very well without leaving scars, i may or may not have any cow organs in my body but thats for me to know and you to find out.